ALWAYS THERE: July 2013

It is a privilege to endure trials knowing that in return all of the glory is directed towards God. For me, that is what makes extreme trials, like cancer, bearable; for I know that I am simply being used as an instrument to further His Kingdom. For the past few days, certain phrases that the doctors told me have been constantly haunting me... "It is a risky surgery""Your tumor is a BRAF mutation""Your body does not respond to radioactive iodine treatment". Many of you know about Luis, my extremely close friend that I turn to during these moments because he gets it. I met Luis about a year and a half ago at a Christmas party for the hospital and since then we have been best friends. Luis was diagnosed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) in February of 2011 and his prognosis was very gloomy. The doctors told him that they would have to amputate his leg and afterwards he would receive numerous exhausting rounds of chemo. When they opened his leg to see if there was any way they could save it, the doctors saw something completely different from the images they viewed the previous week. His tumor had shrunk drastically and as a result the doctors were able to remove the whole tumor and the bone in his leg to replace it with a titanium rod, thus saving his leg. His cancer spread to his lungs, and after many many long rounds of chemotherapy, the spots in his lungs were declared calcified. He was finished with treatment and would come every few months for checkups. In February of 2013, when Luis went in for his check up, it was confirmed that his cancer had returned in both of his lungs. Once again, the prognosis was gloomy with only three options on the table. Luis enrolled in a research antibody treatment, which only ended up fueling the growth of the tumors. With one option disqualified and only two options left, Luis chose chemo. This chemo is a weaker version of the first type he received in 2011 because his heart could not tolerate any more of the first type. Luis is currently still receiving treatment and he is estimated to finish this protocol in late August. So, where am I going with all of this? Luis has been told not once, but twice that the doctors would try their hardest to give him the best treatment, but nothing was guaranteed. Yesterday I was talking with him and telling him that I have not been able to get those scary thoughts out of my mind. The risks, the percentages, the odds. He looked at me and said "McKendree, it's okay for the risks to be extremely high, the percentages not to be in our favor, or the odds to be against us. This is so that when you are healed and when the miracle is performed, God's glory will be even greater. The higher the risks the greater the glory. The doctors told me that they were going to amputate my leg, and I even signed the papers, but when they opened me up even the doctors could not understand or believe what they saw. God's glory was even greater that day because the doctors and everyone around me witnessed a miracle. It was God, completely His healing." I was completely blown away by his perspective and left speechless. We want the doctors to bring up the difficulties of my tumor, the risks of the surgery, and my refusal of the treatment so that when I am healed, my testimony will speak even greater and bring even more attention to my Father in Heaven. I am so thankful that the LORD placed such a man-of-God like Luis in my life to help me understand and encourage me in my faith, especially on the days when I feel completely distraught and overwhelmed. I wanted to take a couple of minutes to brag on this wonderful young man and share his wise words. You can apply this to your life as well even though you might not be fighting cancer or an illness; for our trials and hardships in this life, although they are not guaranteed to be easy, are the most beautiful and promising things that this life can offer us. It is a privilege to suffer knowing that all of the glory is directed to our Creator. No trial is too small or too big, for they all serve the same purpose. So whatever your trial may be, embrace it and learn to love it knowing that the Creator of the Universe is using you as an instrument to lift up His name and to shine light in this dark world.

Luis after surgery! Thankful that his leg was spared, and eager to face the many months of physical therapy.

Finally able to walk again, such a blessing!

Luis next to the statue of St. Jude that is located in the entrance of the hospital.

Strong and super brave young man.

The famous line from a popular church hymn has been replaying over and over in my mind for the past few days: "it is well with my soul". Early Monday morning, my mom and I boarded a flight from Memphis to Houston to start our procedure-filled adventure at the renown M.D. Anderson. Once we arrived in Houston we checked into the Rotary House, courtesy of St. Jude, and rushed to our first appointment. I checked in with my new patient number and waited patiently for the nurse to call me back. My mom and I were shortly relocated to a small consult room where we met with my "second opinion oncologist", Dr. Waguspack. In my recent posts I expressed that I was extremely nervous about going to a new hospital and seeing another doctor, but all of those fears soon were forgotten once I started to speak with my doctor. I felt like I was at St. Jude because he was real with me and answered all of my questions. He told me exactly what was going on and I did not leave our meeting feeling uneasy or unsure about any of the facts we discussed. The first thing he said to us was "Have you heard that thyroid cancer is the good cancer? Well its not". I did not know what to think after hearing that my although my condition gets downplayed, it is just as serious as the other cancers. He told us that when my tumor was first removed in August 2011, pathology ran a test on the tissue and it confirmed that my tumor was BRAF positive. If you are anything like me, I had no idea what that meant, so I asked him to elaborate. BRAF tumors can occur in thyroid cancer, colon cancer, and melanoma patients. They are a mutation and have the characteristics to be more aggressive and spread faster than your average tumor. He also told us that this is not a relapse or a recurrence, but this pesky cancer has been hiding in my lymph nodes the whole time; although the radioactive treatment might have knocked the cancer cells down a little bit, they never truly went away. A combination of my BRAF tumors and the inability for my body to fully respond to the radioactive treatment has led us to the place we are right now. The doctor scheduled scans, an ultrasound, and biopsies to try to get a better grasp on my case. A month had passed since I had any type of testing and the hospital wanted to repeat the tests just to see exactly what they are dealing with. So, on Tuesday I woke up very early to start my extremely busy day. I started the day off with morning labs where they drew blood and put in my IV for my scan. After labs we headed over to Diagnostic Imaging to get a head/neck cat scan. The scan was nice because since I was so tired from waking up early, I was able to shut my eyes for a little bit. M.D. Anderson is very different from St. Jude in a lot of ways. My mom and I were so tickled at the fact that I had to change into an ugly scrubs outfit and then sit in a room with a bunch of sick grumbling adults. We all were matching with each other and I was the youngest patient! At St. Jude nothing is communal, it is very private. Of corse at the Jude, we all wait in the same waiting room but after that we are all in separate smaller waiting rooms while we wait for our scans. It was an experience to say the least! Once we were no longer needed at Diagnostic Imaging, we walked toward the endocrine clinic to wait for my ultrasound. The reason that I went to M.D. Anderson is because they have an ultrasound team that looks at thyroids and lymph nodes and only that every single day. The ultrasound team at St. Jude is wonderful but my doctor felt more comfortable getting a second opinion from people that specialize in only head and neck. We were called back and led to a small room where I met the lady who was going to be in charge of my ultrasound. The plan was to have an ultrasound and set up for biopsy at the same time. When they would see a suspicious lymph node on the ultrasound they would biopsy it immediately. There were a couple of lymph nodes that looked suspicious but we only biopsied two of them because one was behind my carotid artery which is a very risky place to biopsy. About fifteen minutes later the doctor came back into the room and informed us that they lymph nodes came back positive for thyroid cancer. The biopsy was my last appointment for the day so once we were finished some of our friends that live in Houston came to the Rotary House and picked us up. They invited us to spend the night at their house and I am so thankful that they opened up their home to me and my mom. We all had a lovely time they showered us in love and showed us how as Christians, we should love and care for one another. Especially in the moments of sadness, we must encourage and build each other up in love. After a fun night at the Karams we went to the hospital for my last appointment! We met with the surgeon and set up a surgery date for August 6th. I also really liked the surgeon because he answered every single one of our questions... bless that man because you better believe it when I say that my mom and I had a lot of questions! :) I asked him if I was going to need treatment and since my body does not respond to the radioactive radiation what treatment would we seek? He responded with a smile and said "right now surgery is your treatment. We are going to take everything one step at a time and we will discuss that when we reach that moment, but right now I can't tell you that you are going to need treatment, it just depends on what I see when we open you up". Exactly like my meeting with the oncologist, I left the consult with peace knowing that all of my questions were answered. So, overall my trip to Houston was extremely wonderful! It was filled with beautiful people that I love, expanding my comfort zones, and I was given another opportunity to grow closer to my LORD. I am excited to see what the LORD is going to teach me during my second/ongoing first battle and I pray that all of the glory points to Him. For all of the lovely people who have been asking me what they can do to help... please just keep me in your prayers. Prayer is the most effective, important, and helpful thing that you can offer me. Please not only pray for my healing but also pray that the LORD will give me many opportunities to share my faith. I can only hope and pray to have unashamed and encouraging faith like Paul. Thank you everyone for your overwhelming love and support! "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." John 11:4. It is well with my soul!

I love my supportive and beautiful parents. They set such a wonderful example for me and I am so thankful that they taught me the importance of loving Jesus Christ.

Thank you Luis for being so wonderful and making me feel at home while I was on the trip. A huge thank you to Luis and for all of the people who signed/wrote me a letter in the book. I cannot begin to explain the feeling of joy that I had when I read all of them.