Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"the cushion of the sea"

Hello everyone and happy happy Tuesday! I hope that everyone has had a wonderful start to the week. It has been a while since I last posted in here and I have a lot to update on, so hang tight!  Last Wednesday, my day was jam-packed with appointments at St. Jude. I had labs, triage, physical therapy, occupational therapy, clinic, and a follow up with one of my surgeons. Thankfully the Walker clan was on time to all of the appointments, which let me assure you, never happens. My endocrinologist  met with me and my mother and told us that he thought it would be necessary for us to go to Houston the following week. My neck has begun to start hurting and externally it is evident that the keloids are forming again. My endocrinologist and my surgeon back in Houston both agreed that it would be best for me to come back so that my surgeon could get a good look and decide what he wanted to do. On Sunday my mom and I boarded the flight which would bring us, and some other fifty-or-so people to Houston. My little mind was overflowing with worry and fear that I had about the upcoming days so I opened my devotional book and I read this passage: 

"There is a part of the sea known as "the cushion of the sea." It lies beneath the surface that is agitated by the storms and churned by the wind. It is so deep that it is a part of the sea that is never stirred. When the ocean floor in these deep places is dredged of the remains of plant or animal life, it reveals evidence of having remained completely undisturbed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The peace of God is an eternal calm, like the cushion of the sea. It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it. And anyone who enters the presence of God becomes a partaker of that undisturbed calm." -Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman 

I was blown away by the beautiful picture painted by these vibrant words. Needless to say, I needed to read that passage. I was so wrapped up in "the possibilities" and I was not focusing on the truth. I was torturing myself by thinking about bad things that could possibly happen and instantly forgetting the LORD's promise to never leave or forsake His children. This sweet moment on the plane gave me the peace and comfort that my little heart was longing for. It is so beautiful and amazing when the LORD knows what you need to hear and reveals it to you, sometimes through a song, or a devotion, or even through a conversation with someone. Once we landed I was at peace and ready to face any challenge that the LORD would put in my path with the confidence that it would be all for His glory. After we checked into the hotel the first thing mom and I did was call a cab to take us to our favorite restaurant! After a wonderful and laid back first night, we went to bed early to prepare for the long day that we had ahead of us. On Tuesday we woke up early and headed to the hospital to begin our day. We met with my surgeon who instantly decided that I needed to start kenalog injections. I had my first round yesterday and I will be able to do the rest of them back home at St. Jude! We are hoping and praying that these shots improve the pain and take away the discomfort that I am experiencing. Overall, our trip was quick yet efficient. I was able to meet with my surgeon and talk with my doctors here at M.D. Anderson. Thank you everyone for thinking of me during this week. I am glad to have it behind me but I am also ready and eager to face the trials ahead of me. I am ready to face all that is in store for me because I know that I am a part of "the cushion of the sea". This peace that I find in my LORD Jesus, is always there. It is unchangeable and unshakeable. Even though storms may be surrounding me, I know that I am safe in the cushion of the sea. Nothing can harm me; I am protected and shielded from the most dangerous storms that I will encounter throughout the course of my life. So to all of you who are in the midst of a storm, try to change your perspective. It seems simple but instead of focusing on the negative, like I did in the beginning, try to point out the positive things. Knowing that you are untouchable for the peace and protection of the God of the universe is surrounding you, is a great place to start.

On a more exciting note, earlier in the summer I signed up for the St. Jude Half-Marathon. It is my goal to complete it, even if I walk the whole way, I just want to be able to say that I have done it. I am doing this in honor of all of my friends who have won their battle and in memory of my friends who sadly lost their battle. I have committed to raising 1,000 dollars for the hospital and I need your help! No matter how small the donation, anything and everything is appreciated. You can click this link and donate HERE. Please help me give back to the hospital that cured my disease at no cost!
Me and my sister and posing next to the picture that Luis and I painted together. We incorporated our  love for music into the painting and the middle of the heart reads: "Sing to the LORD, praise His name." Psalm 16:2. This will be hanging up in the hallway of the hospital! 
Thank you Luis for coming to drop me and my mom off at the airport.
The traditional "just arrived in Houston" cab picture. 
On the way from the airport to the hotel I was amazed by how beautiful the sky looked. I am so thankful for God's beautiful creation that surrounds us. It was so calming to simply look up and see the beautiful sky. I was instantly reminded that no matter where I go, my God is always with me. (downtown Houston)
...and of corse we had to go to Carrabba's and order their special dish that is only available at the Houston location.
I got to meet some sweet people here during my stay. Monday morning when everyone loaded up on the shuttle to get to the hospital, this sweet woman caught my eye. Her husband has a brain tumor which was discovered after he was rushed to the hospital to seek care after a motorcycle accident. Her love for her husband was evident to everyone on the bus. She was extremely patient and helped him get into his seat and you could tell by the way she treated him how deeply she cares for him! It was so nice to meet you guys and I wish y'all the best. I will be praying for both of y'all during the beginning of your treatment. God bless.