As always, I am a few days late, but better late than never, right? It has officially been a year since my surgery! Technically speaking, it has been a year and two days, but we can just pretend that I was on time! I made a Facebook post but my post in here is slightly delayed...

Today is a special day because a year and two days ago today I went in for my third surgery. My cancer had relapsed in May 2013 and spread to my lymph nodes. St. Jude sent me to MD Anderson to have my surgery by one of the top head and neck surgeons in the world. The airfare, the surgery, the medical care, and the housing all paid completely by St. Jude. This is one of my favorite pictures from this week that is forever engrained in my mind. The first time you look at it, you see me sitting in the bed just waking up from surgery, however if you look closer you see Luis holding my hand. We both have on our medical bracelets on and at this moment we were both at the climax of our treatments. Luis, who was currently on chemo at the time, flew down to Houston to take care of me. He was feeling pretty crummy, the way chemo loves to make you feel, and despite his own medical circumstances he still came, for me. There was nothing glamorous about recovering from a 6 hour surgery but Luis looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He stood by me and helped me start to walk again. When I think of this week I don't think of the pain, the discomfort, or the physical toll the surgery took on my body, but I think of the selflessness and unconditional love of Luis Aguilar.

Ephphatha

"He [Jesus] looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!") At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly."

Mark 7:34-35

As many of you know, on May 26th (Tuesday), I was told the wonderful news that my cancer is officially in remission. Yes, you heard me correctly... I am in REMISSION. But before we jump straight into the medical terms and my "healing", I want to share a story with the intention to encourage and glorify the one true Healer. 

On Sunday night, the day before my check-ups, Luis, his family, and I sat down together for a prayer time. When we pray together we open with a prayer asking the LORD to speak to us through scripture. We normally mention what we are specifically praying for, in this case my check-ups, and ask for the LORD to provide us a verse for encouragement. On Sunday, I was overcome with worry and consumed with doubt; positive thoughts were no where to be found in my mind. When my mom and I went to Houston in January, we were expecting a clean report, but instead we were told that there were a few suspicious spots along with one on my carotid artery.  So naturally, after a few months of letting that update marinate in my mind, my hope, or lack thereof, was slim to none. By the time my "big May check-ups" rolled around I was extremely doubtful of healing and very confident that I was going to receive another update like the one from Houston, but maybe a little further along. Long story short, as hard as this is to admit to myself and to the internet, I had lost the faith in my healing completely.

"Losing faith" or in my opinion running away from the LORD out of fear and hurt, happens when our plans do not align with the LORD's plans. It is a very very scary realization to come to your senses and know that basically everything is completely out of your control. However, comfort is also found in this fact, for when we receive bad news and when we are searching for encouragement most of the time the first thing that comes to our mind is "it's all for a reason." Deep in our heart we know because the LORD is present, His plan is without flaw, but it is indeed a process to get to that point. For me, I was hoping to be told I was in remission and my soul longed for those prized words, however when I was not given that gift I chose to lose hope completely instead of clinging to the LORD, being patient, and fervent in prayer.

When I sat down with Luis' family his mother and father both prayed over me and they asked the LORD to remove all doubt from our minds. For me, that was a much needed request. Berta, Luis' mother prayed specifically for my healing and for my scans. The coolest thing about Berta is her outstanding faith. Whenever Luis or I have a bad day (cancer wise) she will lift us up with prayer and encouragement and is always saying (in Spanish of course) "the miracle is already done, you are healed, we have to believe and be patient." If Luis has bad scans she still declares that her son is going to be healed. Berta and her husband Allan both have outstanding perspective when it comes to cancer and our specific battles. They are always praying and reading the Bible and lifting us up with encouragement in any moment they possibly can. After Berta prayed for me, she asked the LORD to speak to us and encourage us so that we may not lose hope. Once, we were finished praying, she opened the Bible randomly and landed on Mark 7. After reading the passage of the deaf and mute man who was healed by one word, Ephphatha, my hope was completely restored. I know that it was not random, or by chance that Berta opened to this specific healing passage. I know that it was the LORD speaking to my hopeless and doubting little heart and telling me not to worry, for the miracle has already been done. This story gives me goosebumps every time I tell it because it is such a good example of how the LORD is always present, even when it feels like he abandons us. We are His and no matter how far you run away from him, you can always come home.

On Monday Mom, Luis and I headed to the hospital for my appointments. I did not have too many appointments only blood work and an ultrasound of my neck. After those were completed, we had to wait until Tuesday to get the results. The next day, we met with my doctor who informed us that there were a few small spots still there but they are not exactly "life-threatening." With my condition and most cancer cases, it is impossible to get rid of every single cancer cell so the best you can do it keep them at bay. Thyroid cancer is such a cool cancer and I am going to try my best to explain this without confusing anyone. In my first surgery, they removed my thyroid completely because the tumor was on the thyroid, thus infecting the whole organ. You cannot live without your thyroid so there are synthetic hormones that must be taken every day to replace it. No big deal, most people take medicine daily anyways. However, since they removed the whole thyroid there should be no thyroid left in my body. The "spots" are left over thyroid tissue and if my medicine dosage is too low and my body does not get the amount of hormones it needs, the brain will send signals to these leftover pieces and they will try to grow and join together to make a new thyroid, something that we do not want. So instead of surgery or another round of radiation, my doctor has purposely raised my medicine to a higher dosage and over time the leftover spots will die off on their own. There were only two or three extremely small spots and the doctor is very confident that after keeping my medicine "high" for five years, they will be gone. So right now I am lumped into the remission/no evidence of disease category and I am overjoyed! I have been longing for these words and here I am being able to declare and claim my healing! The LORD is incredible and greater than anything, even cancer.

Me and Luis hanging out in the cafeteria in between appointments. I am so thankful to have Luis in my life. He never misses any of my appointments and is always by my side. On the long hard days, like this, he always goes above and beyond to make sure that he makes it a good day. He picked me up in the morning and had made me breakfast (which we ate in the car) and had my favorite songs playing in order to cheer me up. He is the BEST! 

 Luis was there for me, now it was my turn to be there for him! Chemo time!

Ultrasound